So excited! #selfie #hat #wannabeg #trip #israel

(Source: cthulu-lulu, via laugh-addict)

augenss:

- Tupac Shakur

(via orgasmic-humor)

(via asian)

hatin:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that zac efron has a yolo tattoo

(via asian)

Telling me I’m not allowed to be sad because there are other people out there who have it worse is like telling me I can’t be happy because other people have it better

Not known to me but it’s too profound not to share :)

(Source: mirror, via asian)

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(Source: secretsbest, via orgasmic-humor)

angel-and-hunters:

smaugwithablog:

wwwgoodreads:

sqwhoretle:

turntechdestiel:

thepondseleven:

harry-p-ron-w:

amoying:

nasturbate:

marshtomping:

nasturbate:

(white girl voice) wait lemme go to the bathroom

are you saying only females of the white race urinate

yes

i am an asian female and i can back this up, i havent urinated since 1902

How old r u

17

*whispers* how long have you been 17

I know what you are

Say it.Say it out loud.

WILDCATS

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS POST.

(Source: nasturbate, via orgasmic-humor)

asian:

huffingtonpost:

THIS MAN HAS ALS, AND HIS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH. THEN IT’LL MAKE YOU CRY

The video begins humorously as Anthony Carbajal, a photographer, dresses up in a neon bikini top and soaps up a car before being doused with ice water. 

So watch the full video here and laugh out loud at the first half and then get ready to tear up in the second half. 

You guys can nominate me to an ALS ice bucket challenge by uploading your video and tagging it #omgwang :) Please participate and raise awareness!

tuukka-rask:

if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras. 

(via asian)

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo, via asian)

clockest:

I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHING AT THIS 

clockest:

I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHING AT THIS 

(Source: ketzele, via asian)

gunpowderandspark:

mandala-lore:

oldandnewfirm:

beckyybarnes:

Vin Diesel does the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

reblogging for the fact that he challenged two world leaders and a world icon and made them also plant a tree

The new Cold War.

(via orgasmic-humor)

tssfxx:

helllotittys:

have—not:

i love this photo because at first you think that she was going to get married but instead her husband to be left her, or something like that. but actually its quite the opposite. i clicked on the source and it brought me to an article explaining the story behind this photo, and shes not crying, shes hungover. her and her husband went to a football game on their wedding day, and got extremely drunk and partied all night. they took the subway home because they couldn’t drive. so no, its not a sad heartbreaking story, its a crazy joyful one. which in my opinion makes the picture even more amazing.


CAN PEOPLE PLEASE REBLOG THE PIC WITH THIS CAPTION^ AND NOT THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE IS SAD AND ARE LIKE “POOR GIRL GOD BLESS”

tssfxx:

helllotittys:

have—not:

i love this photo because at first you think that she was going to get married but instead her husband to be left her, or something like that. but actually its quite the opposite. i clicked on the source and it brought me to an article explaining the story behind this photo, and shes not crying, shes hungover. her and her husband went to a football game on their wedding day, and got extremely drunk and partied all night. they took the subway home because they couldn’t drive. so no, its not a sad heartbreaking story, its a crazy joyful one. which in my opinion makes the picture even more amazing.

CAN PEOPLE PLEASE REBLOG THE PIC WITH THIS CAPTION^ AND NOT THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE IS SAD AND ARE LIKE “POOR GIRL GOD BLESS”

(via orgasmic-humor)

surprisebitch:

when you’re babysitting and the kid won’t eat their veggies

image

(via orgasmic-humor)